Lindsay Lohan, I Just Can’t Quit You

I have a soft spot for Lindsay Lohan. I don’t know why, but ever since watching her double-down as one-fourth British, one-fourth American, and two-fourths sassy twins in “The Parent Trap”, I was sold. Maybe it’s because I can commiserate with a freckled ginger, or because she could rock a headband, but I like to think it was because she had something special, that it factor, that certain something extra that had me buying movie tickets to “Freaky Friday”, “Mean Girls”, and yes, even “Herbie: Fully Loaded”.

But Lohan has tested my love in the years since. Sure, there have been good times; I still quote “Mean Girls”, (“Four for you Glenn Coco! You go Glenn Coco!), and she was actually excellent with Meryl Streep in a little indie called “A Prairie Home Companion”. But since her last bona-fide hit in 2005, yeah that’s right, Mean Girls was in ’05, the girl’s been to rehab five times, gone to jail five times, had two DUIs, and has applied more layers of mystics tan than I’d care to remember.

Every time I read about one of her latest troubles, be it stealing an heiress’ fur coat or doing cocaine in a club bathroom stall, I shake my head like a disturbed parents and mutter to myself “Lindsay, Lindsay, Lindsay”. And just like that disturbed parent, I’ll lose sleep wondering where it all went wrong; I’ll re-watch “The Parent Trap” like a mother looking at a baby album of her deceased child, and even go through the painful process of listening to her debut album “Rumors”. But yet, like an enabler parent who can’t quite cut their child off, I will continue to believe in her, if not for her acting chops, then for the potential comeback of that mane of luxurious red hair.

So as I eagerly await her pending court hearing on Nov. 2, for what she is being convicted I really can’t remember, (stealing that necklace? rotting teeth? forgetting to wear a bra?), I will be doing so while clutching my copy of “The Parent Trap”, remembering the good old days when her hair was red, her arms weren’t emaciated, and she was dating the foreign exchange student from “That 70’s Show”.


3 comments on “Lindsay Lohan, I Just Can’t Quit You

  1. Allison says:

    I love her too, haha. You go Glen Coco!

  2. Shayna says:

    Katherine, this brings back the memories of when we say Mean Girls together…

  3. Shayna says:

    And by “say” I mean “saw”..

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