The Bully Behind “Bully”

“It gets better”: that’s the anti-bullying message du jour, thanks to a terrifying onslaught of teen suicides that have plagued North America over the past three years. This worrisome trend gave rise to the “It Gets Better Foundation”, an anti-bullying movement that has since been fuelled by the mega-wattage, combined  star power of everyone from Justin Bieber, to Hilary Clinton, to Glee, the superficial musical dramedy that has become the effeminate and perfunctory face of teen gay bullying.

A documentary film has just been released to help aid the anti-bullying movement, aptly titled Bully. Directed by Lee Hirsch, Bully follows the lives of high school students from Iowa, Texas, Mississippi and Oklahoma from 2009-2010. The film captures truly horrific evidence of high school bullying and sheds a critical lens on the ways school administrations and parents fail to protect their most vulnerable children.

You might think: what a timely and important little piece of cinema. True dat, readers. True dat, indeed. However, there is one aspect of Bully‘s production narrative that works to mar its socially conscious credibility. This little, independent documentary that could now finds itself acquired by the big movie producer that could, one Harvey Weinstein.

For those of you unfamiliar with the movie mogul, Harvey Weinstein is one-half of the Weinstein Brothers, a pair of executive movie honchos who have produced some 240 projects including Shakespeare in Love, Pulp Fiction, The Aviator, Gangs of New York, Finding Neverland, The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, The King’s Speech, The Artistand Fahrenheit 911, the latter of which got him canned from his Disney-owned company Miramax, which he originally founded with his brother Bob.

At the Oscars, he’s the obese, balding guy in the front row with rosed face from too much Cristal and ego-inflation, accompanied by a blushing, bedazzled British mannequin. That’s his wifey Georgina Chapman, one-half of design house Marchesa, a.k.a. Oscar couture catnip for Hollywood’s A-list. Her gowns have been worn on the Oscar red carpet by everyone from Anne Hathaway, to Jessica Alba, to Cameron Diaz, to Sandra Bullock on the night she took home Best Actress for Southern Blondes Prefer Black Kids. Talk about a synergistic, match made in marrying-well heaven.

Sure, Harvey sounds like a champion, a 300-pound champion of award shows and rack focus. However, the lumpy Queens kid has garnered himself quite the reputation of being a yep, you guessed it, a big bully. Years of crazy and misguided antics have fuelled this reputation, be it when he threatened director George Hickenlooper with physical harm over the editing work on Factory Girl’s sex scene, when he put a New York Observer reporter in a headlock while throwing him out of a party, when he badgered cancer-stricken director Sydney Pollock on his deathbed over fixing The Reader, or the much hyped screaming matches between himself and Martin Scorsese during production of Gangs of New York. I mean, who fights with Scorsese? He’s like a thickly-browed , giggling and greying teddy bear smelling vaguely of baked ziti.

Harvey’s presence alone is even intimidating enough to overturn NC-17 ratings, cough Blue Valentine cough. Yep. That shit should have never been switched back to R, let me tell you. I no longer believe in love or Ryan Gosling’s ability to age well, thanks to that 2 hour, shaky testament to the rapid expiry of monogamy. But I digress . . .

While even though I find this film to be timely, resonant, effective, and a vital piece of work, I am just so uneasy about Harvey boy’s presence in its credits. How can this film genuinely preach that “it gets better” when for those who have the misfortune of working with this overgrown, rage case, it doesn’t?

Okay, that might be a little heavy-handed. But does Weinstein’s presence within the film’s cultural narrative cheapen the message it works to perpetuate? Or does his superpower, representative of both sides of his character, help to bring new attention and resonance to an important issue that may have recently been forgotten? True, he has a temper. True, he’s any HR department’s worst nightmare. But this man has helped to bring larger audiences to countless independent film projects that might otherwise not see the light of regular distribution. He has impeccable taste, demonstrated with his financial backing of this project. But it just feels hilariously hypocritical.

Just something to consider. Oh and please don’t murder me, Mr. Weinstein. I wish to live to see Harry Potter World.

What do you think? Will Harvey Weinstein’s personal reputation muddy Bully’s message? Will Ryan Gosling age well? Will I get murdered for posting this? Share your thoughts with a comment, whydonchya?

The Best and Worst Oscar Looks by Sydnie P.

My adorable and fashionable colleague Sydnie Payne, expert celebrity fashion blogger over at Sydnie P., has picked her best and worst looks of last night’s Oscars. Get ready to simultaneously clap and gouge your eyes out.

Best – Giuliana Rancic in Tony Ward

Giuliana Rancic looked amazing in this embellished Tony Ward Couture gown. The beautiful beading, and shoulder detail makes this the best look from Oscars 2012.

Worst – Sandra Bullock in Marchesa

Sandra Bullock is beautiful, and her Marchesa gown is gorgeous. However, the gown is unflattering on the actress, and is the biggest red carpet disappointment.

To read Sydnie P.’s full Oscar fashion breakdown, click here.

84th Annual Academy Awards Recap

The 84th annual Academy Awards just went down and while there were a few shockers, it was mostly an unsurprising sweep for Hugo and The ArtistThat’s right, everyone’s favourite black and white, silent film that took Best Picture, Best Actor for Jean Dujardin, and Best Director for Michel Hazavicius. I am only sad that Uggie could not take home some sort of award for best trick by a canine, or best Jack Russell Terrier. Eat your heart out, Cosmo.

Hugo tied The Artist for the most wins: 5. This was largely thanks to the film’s sweep of the technical awards. The 3D epic won Best Original Cinematography, Best Achievement in Art Direction, Best Achievement in Sound Mixing, Best Achievement in Sound Editing (really good sound in Hugo, apparently), and Best Visual Effects.

As for the not so shocking moments: Octavia Spencer picked up Best Supporting Actress for her work in The Help. Christopher Plummer took home Best Supporting Actor for BeginnersRango took home Best Animated Feature. Woody Allen’s win for Best Original Screenplay for Midnight In ParisAnd finally, FINALLY, Meryl won her third Oscar for The Iron LadySandra Bullock can clear her conscience now.

Some of this year’s more shocking wins include Undefeated edging out Paradise Lost 3: Purgatory, and as previously mentioned, Michel Hazanavicius win of Best Director over favourited Martin Scorsese.

As for the hosting, it was as stiff as Billy Crystal’s prosthetic hip and out of touch recession jokes. (What? The Oscars are excessive and culturally irrelevant in this current global recession? You don’t say! Hilarious and original, Mr. Crystal.) His opening song felt forced, unoriginal, and plain not fucking funny. My favourite portion of it was when they cut o Jean Dujardin and he smiled. Seriously, that was the high point.

Thank goodness the Oscars are over. I am just the worst during this season and therefore, I am needing my own thank you speech for this season; “Thank you to Samantha Hill for seeing every movie with me; many call you my closeted lesbian lover, I call you my celibate life partner. Thank you to my father for bankrolling all of my movie tickets and for nodding when I talked at nauseum about The Tree Of Life. Thank you to wonderful movies: you make my heart happy and continue to excite me year to year. And thank you to my readers, all 6 of you. Snark aside, if that is actually possible, I am grateful to each and every one of you. In the meantime, I’ll see you in line for popcorn.

For a complete list of the 84th Academy Award winners, click here.

Oscar Predictions By Katherine

It’s time for my old stand-by who should win/who will win predictions: Oscar edition. Get your pens poised, cause I’ll be showing you how to destroy you Oscar pool, thereby allowing you to verbally abuse all of those who pail in comparison to your Oscar greatness. Enjoy!

Best Motion Picture Of The Year

Who Should Win: The Tree Of Life - If you have read this blog even once, you will most likely know that I have a complete obsession with this bizarre, jurassic, and confusing film. Terence Mallick is a genius. Brad Pitt looked sexy in readers. Dinosaurs were there. What more do you want?

Who Will Win: The ArtistThis charming throw-back to the black and white, silent era of film had every critic cheering. Literally. Every freaking critic would not shut up about this. It would be a huuuuuuge shocker if this film didn’t bring home not only this award, but plenty more.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Lead Role

Who Should Win: Damian Bachir in A Better Life - First of all, this film was one of the most affecting of the year. Second of all, Bachir is an incredibly underrated talent who deserves this, not only for his killer performance, but also for dat ass. Seriously. Google him.

Who Will Win: Jean Dujardin in The Artist – As George Vallentin, Dujardin was Clark Gable, Gene Kelly, and a French George Clooney all in one. It’s particularly awkward that in winning this award, he will be beating the real George Clooney.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Lead Role

Who Should Win: Meryl Streep in The Iron Lady - She’s a fucking goddess. End of discussion.

Who Will Win: Meryl Streep in The Iron Lady - Fucking right. (Sorry for so much profanity. Meryl just does something to me, okay?)

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role

Who Should Win: Christopher Plummer in Beginners - What can I say? This was Captain Von Trapp’s year. As Hal, the newly gay and newly proud senior citizen, Plummer proved that hot Canadian men just get better with age.

Who Will Win: Christopher Plummer in Beginners – Everyone loves a gay old guy. Except maybe Evangelists and Anne Coulter.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role

Who Should Win: Melissa McCarthy in Bridesmaids - Okay, hear me out. Her character was based on Guy Fieri. That alone is worthy of an Oscar. Also, she grounded an otherwise ridiculous character with heart, wit, and some much-needed restraint.

Who Will Win: Octavia Spencer in The Help – It’s Minny Jackson’s year. No one can stop her and her shit pies.

Best Achievement In Directing

Who Should Win: Woody Allen for Midnight In Paris - Maybe my odd attraction to this incestuous little director has skewed my choice, but I believe this film is one of Allen’s best in years.

Who Will Win: Martin Scorsese for HugoScorsese took a big risk with his first foray into 3D and boy did it pay off.

Best Screenplay

Who Should Win: Kristen Wiig and Amy Mumolo for Bridesmaids - To all the nay sayers out there: this script was charming, original, hilarious and yeah, a little raunchy. Unfortunately, the raunch stigma stinks. (Literally. Did you see her poop in the street?) Anyway, the snooty, old Oscar voters will likely not be rewarding that sort of potty humour and women being all independent and hilarious. Quelle domage.

Who Will Win: Woody Allen for Midnight In Paris - I’m into it. It is deserved. Ca c’est tout. (Get it? Cause it was set in Paris. So topical and hilarious).

Best Adapted Screenplay

Who Should Win: Steve Zaillian, Aaron Sorkin, and Stan Chervin for Moneyball – This trio is an Oscar voter’s wet dream. However, the film doesn’t have the cache to hold down a win. Sorry, Sorkin. You’ll have to cry into your Best Adapted Screenplay Oscar for The Social Network. So 2011.

Who Will Win: Alexander Payne , Nat Faxon, and Jim Rash for The Descendants - They had to throw something Clooney’s way to make it worth his bronzer and carting that shiny mannequin around the red carpet all night.

Best Animated Feature Film 

Who Should Win: Puss In Boots – I chose this mostly because I enjoy Latin stereotypes.

Who Will Win: Rango - Johnny Depp as a lizard of some sort? American Western themes? Other talking animals? Oscar voters are clearly sold.

Best Foreign Language Film

Who Should Win: Monsieur Lazhar – Okay, I’m biased because it’s French Canadian. But honestly, this film was one of the most joyful, poignant, and enjoyable movies of the year. Bien sur! Poutine for all!

Who Will Win: A Separation - This Iranian import seems to have struck every right note with Oscar voters. I would be shocked if this classic Oscar bait didn’t bring home the gold.

Best Documentary

Who Should Win: Pina – This stunning 3D dance documentary may not have struck enough of an activist tone to make a ripple in the category, but it was by far the most visually impressive film I saw all year.

Who Will Win: Paradise Lost 3: Purgatory – Let’s face it: HBO is like the cool kid at every award show. And the triple-homicide murder trial it is based upon is just too exciting, too provocative, and too engaging to be denied.

For a complete list of this year’s nominations, click here.

Dude Looks Like A Lady

Like Monsier d’Eon or Mrs. Doubtfire before him, the title character in Rodrigo Garcia’s Albert Nobbs takes shelter in the costume of an opposing gender. Played by the powerful and altogether quiet Glenn Close, Albert finds ways of moving us with few words, a lot of makeup, and a surplus of talent.

Adapted from George Moore’s novel titled The Singular Life of Albert Nobbs, the film incarnation tells the story of Albert, a quiet, odd-looking, and timid man who works as a waiter at a posh Dublin hotel. As previously mentioned, Albert holds a secret: he is a woman, hiding behind a suit, a haircut, and an aptly-placed tensor bandage. After encountering Hubert Page (Janet McTeer), a handyman who Albert must bunk with for the night, Albert discovers a fellow cross-dresser who might share in his experiences.

Page reveals to Albert that he is in fact married to a woman, and leads a seemingly normal heterosexual life of domesticity. Inspired by Page’s aspirational lifestyle, Albert pursues a maid at the hotel, Helen (Mia Wasikowska). But Helen is involved with the hotel’s furnace repair man Joe, played to charmingly volatility by Aaron Johnson. The young lovers plot to milk Albert for all of his hard earned money, in order to move to America, leaving the tiny, sad man to solitude. In this comedy of errors, gender, and poverty, Albert must struggle to hide his true biology, while attempting to become a man in his own right.

Within Albert Nobbs, we may see a charmingly conventional narrative of oppression told in an electrifyingly original fashion. Using classical stage techniques such as asides and soliliquys, Albert’s often hushed inner-voice is still heard in a authentically clear manner.

As Albert, Glenn Close simply nails the small nuances necessary to make a subtle character readable, relatable, and interesting to an audience. Watch yo’ back Meryl.

As far as its Oscar future goes, this small but powerful film faces stiff competition from some of its louder, more flashy competition. For Best Actress, it could go to either Close for this exciting role, but chances are my beloved Meryl will be finally winning her third. Janet McTreer also faces stiff competition from Octavia Spencer in The Help. It’s very doubtful that McTreer’s exciting yet understated performance can steal Minny Jackson’s thunder. Albert Nobbs’s best chance at taking home that golden statue falls in the Best Makeup Category. Cos’ hey, any makeup artist that can make Close look anything less than stunning deserves an award, am I right?

What did you think of Albert Nobbs? Drop me a little O day commentary, wontya please?

All The Right Moves

What can be said in words about German 3D dance film Pina? As a word lover, it grieves me to say that they simply are not enough to explain the beauty, triumph, and intelligence involved in this film. Motion is not easily captured by type, but I will journey on slightly to do this stunning documentary a microcosm of justice.

With the great joy of Pina’s breath-taking movement comes an underpinning of sorrow. Director Wim Wenders began this film to chronicle the life and work of choreographer Pina Bausch, the iconic master of Tanztheater. However, Pina died suddenly during production, and Wenders wanted to terminate production. However, the corps of Pina’s company, Tanztheater Wuppertal, pushed Wenders to continue the film in order to honour Pina’s outstanding creations. The result is just that: an outstanding creation.

And the dancing truly is outstanding. I won’t waste my time or yours waxing on my usual self-indulgent prose, as it will have little comparison to the joy in the image. All I will say is that the film rehashes some of Pina’s most prominent pieces, and mixes these gorgeous movements with rehearsal footage, interviews with the dance corps, and with Pina herself. This is one of the few 3D experiences that I really felt the medium was necessary and well used. All I can say of this film is that it must be seen to be believed.

As far as its Oscar future goes, this visually staggering documentary has some serious competition, namely from Grunge-boy favourite Paradise Lost 3: Purgatory. That’s right, it’s all about the West Memphis 3, and if it bleeds it leads. Also if Johnny Depp shows up to your appeal – that leads too. However, maybe the Academy will be as dazzled as I was by this utterly astonishing display of artistry, athleticism, beauty, and love. “Dance, dance; otherwise we are lost”.

What did you think of Pina? Are you a dance fan, or are you more into Johnny Depp? Drop me a line or two in the comments section below.

And the BAFTA winners are . . .

BEST FILM

The Artist – Thomas Langmann

LEADING ACTOR

Jean Dujardin – The Artist

LEADING ACTRESS

Meryl Streep – The Iron Lady

DIRECTOR

The Artist – Michel Hazanavicius

ANIMATED FILM

Rango – Gore Verbinski

ADAPTED SCREENPLAY

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy – Bridget O’Connor, Peter Straughan

DOCUMENTARY

Senna – Asif Kapadia

THE ORANGE WEDNESDAYS RISING STAR AWARD

Adam Deacon

OUTSTANDING BRITISH CONTRIBUTION TO CINEMA

John Hurt

ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY

The Artist – Michel Hazanavicius

SUPPORTING ACTRESS

Octavia Spencer – The Help

OUTSTANDING BRITISH FILM

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy – Tomas Alfredson, Tim Bevan, Eric Fellner, Robyn Slovo, Bridget O’Connor, Peter Straughan

SUPPORTING ACTOR

Christopher Plummer – Beginners

PRODUCTION DESIGN

Hugo – Dante Ferretti, Francesca Lo Schiavo

OUTSTANDING DEBUT BY A BRITISH WRITER, DIRECTOR OR PRODUCER

Tyrannosaur – Paddy Considine (Director), Diarmid Scrimshaw (Producer)

FILM NOT IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE

The Skin I Live In – Pedro Almodóvar, Agustin Almodóvar

MAKE UP & HAIR

The Iron Lady – Marese Langan

COSTUME DESIGN

The Artist – Mark Bridges

CINEMATOGRAPHY

The Artist – Guillaume Schiffman

EDITING

Senna – Gregers Sall, Chris King

SOUND

Hugo – Philip Stockton, Eugene Gearty, Tom Fleischman, John Midgley

ORIGINAL MUSIC

The Artist – Ludovic Bource

SHORT FILM ANIMATION

A Morning Stroll – Grant Orchard, Sue Goffe

SHORT FILM

Pitch Black Heist – John Maclean, Gerardine O’Flynn

SPECIAL VISUAL EFFECTS

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 2 – Tim Burke, John Richardson, Greg Butler, David Vickery

What are your thoughts on the winners? Why don’t you share a little diddy in the comments section.

Since You Been Gone

Like the elusive heart-shaped key held by the title character in Martin Scorsese’s Hugo, the anti-boy hero Oskar in Stephen Daldry’s Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close holds a key and a mission all his own. Also like Hugo, Oskar’s key presents a link to his deceased father, one that he hopes will somehow connect the pair passed mortality and time. But the difference maker between Scorsese’s stunning narrative of broken machines and people, and Daldry’s post 9/11 world is the latter’s post-modern understanding that the “bad guy” isn’t so easily identified by his black dog and his scowl, and that the true evil is pervasive, faceless, and random.

But I’m getting ahead of myself, here. Look at me, jumping right into Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close’s thematic heart like an iiidiot. Anyway, starting from the beginning . . .

Based on the 2005 novel of the same name by Jonathan Safran Foer, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close tells the story of Oskar Schell (Thomas Horn), an 11-year-old boy with social autism who lives in New York City. Abrupt, brutal, and eerily intelligent, Oskar is terrified of the busy, loud, chrome city around him and of most children his own age. His undisputed best friend is his father, Thomas Schell (Tom Hanks), a jewelry store owner who through his “expeditions” with his son tries to take Oskar out of his namesake “Schell”. His quiet, loving mother Linda Schell (Sandra Bullock) sits by admiring the bond, but is never fully invited off the sidelines.

But of course this is a paradise lost. We know immediately within the film’s opening sequence, as Oskar sits from a limousine at a gravesite, that his father has died in one of the towers during 9/11. Oskar, unable to cope with the unexplainable cruelty of his loss, or of his own unexplainable cruelty towards his mother, finds the aforementioned heart-shaped key in a vase, hidden in his father’s things and simply labeled “Black”. Oskar feels it is a clue left from his father and begins one final expedition, searching through thousands of Blacks in New York City to reach his father once more.

With films such as Billy Elliot and The Reader, director Stephen Daldry has shown somewhat of a knack for directing young, fresh talents. Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close is no exception. With former Jeopardy champion Thomas Horn, Daldry has parlayed the boy genius’ frantic, often erratic energy into a truly electrifying performance. Although the emotional scope of the film is jarringly vast, leading to an exhaustive pace, Daldry does well to choose and direct an actor who may keep up with the steady sprint of emotion.

But Horn is just one of a cast of many talented performances. As the mute character simply known as The Renter, Max von Sydow does more with his face, body, and silence than most actors do with an entire script of prose. As Abby Black, Viola Davis adds another stunning and simultaneously brief performance to her resume. She also got the snot going again. That broad just refuses to buy Kleenex.

If there is one criticism to be made, it is that much like Oskar himself, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close is just far too aware of its own tragedy. It relishes in it, enjoys every tear and ache of its heart. It indulges in every 9/11 cliché out there, as if it has just seen the same stock 9/11 footage on loops: trying to put an identity to the faceless man falling from the 103rd floor, seeing bitterness and heartache in every “I (heart) NY” souvenir, and screaming at the top of ones lungs against the Western world’s post-empirical fate. Perhaps these are over-played tropes of 9/11 tragedy, or perhaps I am just personally tired of them. But either way, the intellectual and emotional wasteland of Daldry’s post 9/11 New York feels like previously marked territory. Its trajectory does little for this post traumatic shock narrative, and leaves its characters to succeed in spite of it. Most of the characters do in fact succeed, but their backdrop of faceless, cruel high rises does little to support their emotional originality.

As far as its Oscar future goes, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close got, shall we say, incredibly lucky to receive one of the nine Best Picture nominations. I doubt very much it can outshine or out-buzz early Oscar favorites The Artist or even The Descendants, but there is always the possibility of an eleventh hour upset. Max von Sydow, the recipient of the film’s only other nomination for Best Supporting Actor, will have to pick up some steam if he’s going to out-old fellow senior citizen nominee Christopher Plummer. But hey, where there’s a will, there’s a sweet old man trying to steal your Oscar. Put them dukes up, Max.

What did you think of Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close? Did you read the book? Do you like old guys competing for awards? Share your thoughts with a comment or two.

My Top SAG Shockers of 2012

It was a big night of surprises at the SAGs and about 75% of my picks were wrong. The biggest shock came with Viola Davis’s steal of Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Drama for The Help,  which was basically stolen out from underneath Streep’s Vivienne Westwood hoop skirt. Other notable surprises of the evening include 30 Rock’s Alec Baldwin’s win for Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Comedy Series, Jessica Lange’s win for Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Drama Series (move over, Margulies), and Paul Giamatti’s win for Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Television Movie or Miniseries for his work in Too Big To Fail.

Unsurprisingly, The Help took home Outstanding Performance by a Cast in a Motion Picture, while Jean Dujardin for The Artist and Christopher Plummer for Beginners took home the male acting nods, with Octavia Spencer taking home Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Motion Picture.

In tv land, Modern Family of course is king, taking home Outstanding Performance by a Cast in a Comedy Series, while Boardwalk Empire took home Outstanding Performance by a Cast in a Drama Series. BE also secured Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Drama Series, thanks to Steve Buscemi.

For a complete list of 2011 SAG winners, click here.

SAG Award Predictions – Movies

The 18th Screen Actors Guild Awards will be airing tomorrow night, meaning another round of who should will/will win predictions are in order. Long considered to be one of the ultimate predictors as to who will take him the Oscar statues come February, the SAGS are all about actors honouring actors.

Outstanding Performance by a Cast in a Motion Picture

Who Should Win: Bridesmaids – This raunchy, estrogen comedy would have been nothing without its cast of incredible, hilarious, shitting ladies. However, me thinks most Stanislavski loving SAG voters will turn up their little, method-acting noses at the gaggle of gals taking a dump all over a bridal boutique. Lame.

Who Will Win: The Help - Based on the math alone, (three individual gals from The Help have been nominated), it seems like the Screen Actor’s Guild is aaaaall about Tate Taylor’s 1960′s race dramedy.

Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Leading Role

Who Should Win: Demián Bichir in A Better Life – Bichir’s performance in Chris Weitz’s drama about an LA gardener trying to keep his son out of a life of crime just earned the Mexican actor an Academy Award nomination. Unfortunately, the film is just too under the radar to earn Bichir a win tomorrow night at the SAGs or at the Oscars.

Who Will Win: George Clooney in The Descendants - Tough category, as that whiley Frenchman Dujardin could always come away with it. But Clooney has been nominated three times, with no cheddar. Actors are  a long-suffering group, what with the rejection, the side jobs waiting tables, and those really unflattering leotards they’re always wearing in movement class. I believe they’ll reward Clooney’s suffering with a SAG win tomorrow night.

Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Leading Role

Who Should Win: Meryl Streep in The Iron Lady - Come on, do I really need to explain? Strep’s tour-de-force performance as Britain’s polarizing former PM was simply perfection. She deserves this win, and many others this awards season.

Who Will Win: Meryl Streep in The Iron Lady - Streep is truly an actor’s actor. The Screen Actor’s Guild can appreciate Meryl’s talent, range, and her ability to done prosthetics for 3/4 of this film. Those actor voters know how freaking uncomfortable that is. They’ll be giving the gold to Streep.

Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Supporting Role

Who Should Win: Christopher Plummer in Beginners - Proving that his talent and that sexy, sexy voice only get  better with age, Plummer’s performance as the newly out-and-proud widower is the best of his career.

Who Will Win: Christopher Plummer in Beginners - In my opinion, no one could touch him this season. (Sorry, Albert Brooks).

Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Supporting Role

Who Should Win: Jessica Chastain in The Help – Obviously I am not the biggest fan of The Help, (see above, re hilarious and true movie poster), but I am of the belief that Chastain absolutely owned 2011. With unnominated work in two much superior films to this piece of shit pie, (Take Shelter, The Tree of Life), Chastain deserves the recognition.

Who Will Win: Octavia Spencer in The Help - Yeah, she’s the one who baked the shit pie. But despite my witty bitterness, her performance really was stellar, and Spencer looks like a lock to take it home, tomorrow night.

Outstanding Performance by a Stunt Ensemble in a Motion Picture (wtf)

Who Should Win: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt. 2 - I have no freaking clue as to why. There were a lot of actors falling all over the place cause of all the spells? Alan Rickman’s getting old? Who knows. Just give an award to HP, cause it’s awesome and deserves it.

Who Will Win: Cowboys and Aliens - They fell more?

For a complete list of 2011 SAG nominees, click here.