Monthly Archives: January 2012

Gossip Girl Celebrates 100th Episode

Sigh, how time has flown. I remember being in the 9th grade, and being referred by my friend Shayna to a series of trashy teen novels; (visit her beauty blog here). It had everything I wasn’t’ supposed to be reading about: sex, drugs, and elitism. It was a glorious trio. Needless to say that book series was Gossip Girl.

Fast-forward to 2007: the CW premiered a series adaptation of Gossip Girl starring fresh-faced Abercrombie models dressed in Proenza Schouler. It started off so wonderful with a bevy of headbands and simulated nude scenes. For a good season and a half, it was a heavenly 60 minute block of television.

Of course, like any indulgent series that starts off amazing, it eventually got terrible. So much exposition! So many ridiculous plot points! So many scenes where Nate is clothed! Somehow, the venerable teen dramedy has staggered through to its 100th episode, airing tonight at 8 pm on the CW. The special episode will finally bring us Blair’s royal wedding to Prince Louis. Of course, she is only marrying him because she believes that if she doesn’t, God will kill her true love Chuck. No I’m not kidding. Also, there is going to be some sort of Madonna Material Girl scene starring Serena and her twin orbs of suspended reality. Again, not kidding. Oh, and Mayor Bloomberg has named January 26th Gossip Girl Day. Seriously, not kidding.

For my own personal celebration, I am going to be ranking the 5 best things Gossip Girl moments. You’ll notice that they’re entirely from the first two seasons, and that’s how I like it. Enjoy!

5. Blair Takes Down Georgina

I’ll go ahead and immediately apologize for this countdown being very Blair-centric. What can I say? She’s the best and now the only good thing about this series. This little gem came in the Season 1 finale: Much I Do About Nothing. That crazy train Georgina had been taking on duel identities to expose a secret that would ruin Serena’s life. Blair, being the defender of the galaxy, put a stop to all of that. Yep, it was great.

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4. Serena Gets Her Bitch On

Let’s face it, Serena’s a pretty blah character. She spends most of this series tossing her hair, mumbling dialogue as if she just got her wisdom teeth removed, and flip-flopping on whether to date unavailable men. Yawn. But there was a brief window within season 2 where she got interesting. The blonde ignoramus decided to make a play for Queen of Constance, while making friends with NY socialites. Good tv.

3. Chuck Rejects Blair

Chuck and Blair are without a doubt the best relationship of this show. Although they have some pretty romantic moments, they have some pretty heartbreaking ones too. This one really sticks out as the ultimate bitch slap of the series. Don’t hate. He’s Chuck Bass.

2. The Love Triangle That Started It All

When watching the pilot episode for Gossip Girl in ’07, there was a moment that I knew the show was ‘good bad’, as opposed to just plain bad. It happened during a particular montage, one that detailed the love triangle that would propel the series for the next five seasons to come. The scene strikes the perfect balance between intrigue, provocativeness, and genuine tragedy. This is a balance the series has struggled horridly to maintain over the last few seasons. Lest we forget.

1. Chair

The couple that no one saw coming bloomed in the back of a limo. Fresh off of a traumatizing breakup with the walking cheekbone Nate, Blair runs to Chuck’s newly purchased burlesque club, (what? lots of 16 year olds own burlesque clubs), promptly strips to her slip and performs a freeing little number. A headband-wearing star is born, and so is one of the most pleasing television couples of our time.

[youtuube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bdIlShY3AoU]

What are your favourite Gossip Girl moments? Share them all in the comment section.

Introducing: Poetry Mondays

I think most people can come to the general consensus that Mondays blow. To liven our spirits, our minds, and our souls, I’ve decided to start a weekly tradition of Poetry Monday. That’s right, whatever poem catches my eye will be posted here at the depressing beginning of each soul-crushing work week. Inspired by my revisit of Woody Allen’s Hannah And Her Sisters, I’m choosing an E.E. Cummings classic for the inaugural post. Enjoy!

Somewhere I Have Never Travelled

somewhere I have never travelled, gladly beyond
any experience,your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which I cannot touch because they are too nearyour slightest look easily will unclose me
though I have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skilfully,mysteriously) her first roseor if your wish be to close me, I and
my life will shut very beautifully,suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;

nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals
the power of your intense fragility: whose texture
compels me with the color of its countries,
rendering death and forever with each breathing

(I do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens; only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands

 -E. E. Cummings

My Top SAG Shockers of 2012

It was a big night of surprises at the SAGs and about 75% of my picks were wrong. The biggest shock came with Viola Davis’s steal of Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Drama for The Help,  which was basically stolen out from underneath Streep’s Vivienne Westwood hoop skirt. Other notable surprises of the evening include 30 Rock’s Alec Baldwin’s win for Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Comedy Series, Jessica Lange’s win for Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Drama Series (move over, Margulies), and Paul Giamatti’s win for Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Television Movie or Miniseries for his work in Too Big To Fail.

Unsurprisingly, The Help took home Outstanding Performance by a Cast in a Motion Picture, while Jean Dujardin for The Artist and Christopher Plummer for Beginners took home the male acting nods, with Octavia Spencer taking home Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Motion Picture.

In tv land, Modern Family of course is king, taking home Outstanding Performance by a Cast in a Comedy Series, while Boardwalk Empire took home Outstanding Performance by a Cast in a Drama Series. BE also secured Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Drama Series, thanks to Steve Buscemi.

For a complete list of 2011 SAG winners, click here.

SAG Award Predictions – Television

In just a few short hours, the SAG red carpet will be filled to the brim with actors, directors, writers, producers, Weinsteins, and PAs who all slept with the right executive. Yesterday, I gave you my who should win/who will win picks for the movie awards, and now I bring you my television choices. Get excited, Dad and select aunts.

Outstanding Performance by an Ensemble in a Comedy Series

Who Should Win: 30 Rock - Sometimes, I feel like one of the few fans left of this charming little show. But honestly, I think the writing and performances are better than ever. Plus, Liz Lemon’s been rocking a fierce set of glasses as of late. That’s deserving of an award in itself.

Who Will Win: Modern Family - There’s just no stopping this mocku-comedy. With big wins at the Golden Globes and the Emmy’s, there’s little doubt that the cast of Latin stereotypes, bitchy queens, and angry soccer moms will be coming out with the big win tonight.

Outstanding Performance by an Ensemble in a Drama Series

Who Should Win: Game of Thrones - This HBO fantasy series was all the rage in the summer. But the heat has cooled off considerably since its June season finale. Although I believe it is deserving of top honours, it will most likely lose out.

Who Will Win: Boardwalk Empire - HBO is just so terrible at making good tv, right? Hilarious sarcasm aside, the prohibition drama, backed by Scorsese and Buscemi, is just too much awesome to be denied by the Screen Actor’s Guild. Although I’m repping Game of Thrones on this one, this choice ain’t too shabby either.

Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Comedy Series

Who Should Win: Ty Burell in Modern Family - I know, for such a nay-sayer of MF, it’s surprising to see me pick Ty. However, he is one of the funniest, most physical, yet most understated performances on television today. In this group, he is defiantly top dog.

Who Will Win: Ty Burrell in Modern Family - MF cannot be denied. ‘Nough said.

Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Comedy Series

Who Should Win: Edie Falco in Nurse Jackie – In my books, this tv veteran is one of the greats. She stole my heart as Camilla, and kept it as emergency room nurse Jackie Peyton. To me, she is untouchable. To the Screen Actors Guild, she is another bobbed character actress paling in the shadow of eccentric CBS family quirk.

Who Will Win: Julie Bowen in Modern Family - Are you sensing a theme, here? As the high-strung, short-tempered mom of 2, well arguably three, Bowen is a hit with oppressed housewives everywhere. She’ll be the big winner at the SAGs and at lady-bicep competitions.

Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Drama Series

Who Should Win: Bryan Cranston in Breaking Bad - Although I was never able to really get into this show, Cranston’s talents are undeniable as the meth-cooking, Chemistry teaching Walter White. Cranston is well deserving of this awards.

Who Will Win: Bryan Cranston in Breaking Bad - Sometimes the actors get it right.

Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Drama Series

Who Should Win: Glenn Close in Damages - First of all, what a fluster cluck of a category. We’ve got Close, Sedgwick, Bates, Margulies, and Lange all throwing down for the same award. Fiiiiieeeerce. Based on this category consisting solely of the cream of the crop, Close reigns supreme as ruthless lawyer Patty Hewes. Poor lady will probably be snubbed in this category, and out-monologued by Meryl Streep for this year’s Oscar.

Who Will Win: Juliana Margulies in The Good Wife - Another law drama. Seriously, folks? Both my parents are lawyers. It’s not really like that, at all. From what I can tell. it’s mostly paperwork, diet coke, and crosswords. But I digress. Anyway, Margulies has been a crowd favourite ever since The Good Wife hit the small screen in 2009. The heat has not cooled off since, and Margulies will be proving this point when she takes home the statue tonight.

Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Television Movie or Mini Series

Who Should Win: Guy Pearce in Mildred Pierce - As rich playboy Monty Beragon, Pearce absolutely stunned in a cast consisting of some pretty serious acting gusto. I cannot say enough about his performance, or his raw sex appeal. Double hubb hubba for him and his skinny ties.

Who Will Win:  Guy Pearce in Mildred Pierce - Without a wire tapper to steal his thunder, Pearce has a slight edge over the competition thanks to the star power of MP‘s cast and the swagger of HBO.

Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Television Movie or Mini Series

Who Should Win: Kate Winslet in Mildred Pierce – Personally, I feel that this miniseries, and subsequently Winslet’s performance, was quite underrated. Some of the critical wrongs are now being righted thanks to the bevy of nominations it has received. It’s aaaaall about the Winslet this year. She is deserving of the win, and forty-five minutes of acceptance speech airtime to make up for the GG cut-off.

Who Will Win: Kate Winslet in Mildred Pierce – I’m not longer mad at her for divorcing Sam Mendes, so this is a good thing.

For a full list of the 2011 SAG nominees, click here.

SAG Award Predictions – Movies

The 18th Screen Actors Guild Awards will be airing tomorrow night, meaning another round of who should will/will win predictions are in order. Long considered to be one of the ultimate predictors as to who will take him the Oscar statues come February, the SAGS are all about actors honouring actors.

Outstanding Performance by a Cast in a Motion Picture

Who Should Win: Bridesmaids – This raunchy, estrogen comedy would have been nothing without its cast of incredible, hilarious, shitting ladies. However, me thinks most Stanislavski loving SAG voters will turn up their little, method-acting noses at the gaggle of gals taking a dump all over a bridal boutique. Lame.

Who Will Win: The Help - Based on the math alone, (three individual gals from The Help have been nominated), it seems like the Screen Actor’s Guild is aaaaall about Tate Taylor’s 1960′s race dramedy.

Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Leading Role

Who Should Win: Demián Bichir in A Better Life – Bichir’s performance in Chris Weitz’s drama about an LA gardener trying to keep his son out of a life of crime just earned the Mexican actor an Academy Award nomination. Unfortunately, the film is just too under the radar to earn Bichir a win tomorrow night at the SAGs or at the Oscars.

Who Will Win: George Clooney in The Descendants - Tough category, as that whiley Frenchman Dujardin could always come away with it. But Clooney has been nominated three times, with no cheddar. Actors are  a long-suffering group, what with the rejection, the side jobs waiting tables, and those really unflattering leotards they’re always wearing in movement class. I believe they’ll reward Clooney’s suffering with a SAG win tomorrow night.

Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Leading Role

Who Should Win: Meryl Streep in The Iron Lady - Come on, do I really need to explain? Strep’s tour-de-force performance as Britain’s polarizing former PM was simply perfection. She deserves this win, and many others this awards season.

Who Will Win: Meryl Streep in The Iron Lady - Streep is truly an actor’s actor. The Screen Actor’s Guild can appreciate Meryl’s talent, range, and her ability to done prosthetics for 3/4 of this film. Those actor voters know how freaking uncomfortable that is. They’ll be giving the gold to Streep.

Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Supporting Role

Who Should Win: Christopher Plummer in Beginners - Proving that his talent and that sexy, sexy voice only get  better with age, Plummer’s performance as the newly out-and-proud widower is the best of his career.

Who Will Win: Christopher Plummer in Beginners - In my opinion, no one could touch him this season. (Sorry, Albert Brooks).

Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Supporting Role

Who Should Win: Jessica Chastain in The Help – Obviously I am not the biggest fan of The Help, (see above, re hilarious and true movie poster), but I am of the belief that Chastain absolutely owned 2011. With unnominated work in two much superior films to this piece of shit pie, (Take Shelter, The Tree of Life), Chastain deserves the recognition.

Who Will Win: Octavia Spencer in The Help - Yeah, she’s the one who baked the shit pie. But despite my witty bitterness, her performance really was stellar, and Spencer looks like a lock to take it home, tomorrow night.

Outstanding Performance by a Stunt Ensemble in a Motion Picture (wtf)

Who Should Win: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt. 2 - I have no freaking clue as to why. There were a lot of actors falling all over the place cause of all the spells? Alan Rickman’s getting old? Who knows. Just give an award to HP, cause it’s awesome and deserves it.

Who Will Win: Cowboys and Aliens - They fell more?

For a complete list of 2011 SAG nominees, click here.

2012 Shakespeare In The Park Lineup Announced

“Bitch, get excited.”

Now we to take a break from awards season to tune into my daily daydreams of  ”if I lived in New York”. In this edition, you see me imagining that I will be spending this summer working for Vulture and taking in Shakespeare In The Park’s (SITP) 2012 summer lineup.

That’s right, the Public Theatre announced today that SITP’s 50th Anniversary summer season will feature Shakespeare’s As You Like It, with Lily Rabe starring as Rosalind, and Stephen Sondheim’s Into The Woods directed by Timothy Sheader. Jalouse.

Celebrating its fiftieth season at the Delacorte Theatre in Central Park, SITP has featured such talents as Meryl Streep, Natalie Portman, Kevin Kline, Philip Seymour Hoffman, James Earl Jones, Anne Hathaway, and Al Pacino, to name a few. What amateurs.

For more information, or to hang your newly purchased SITP tickets over my head, click here.

Oscar Snubs and Shocks

Now that the dust has settled around the 2011 Academy Award nominees, it’s time to dig deep into who got the big shaft from the uppety Academy voters, and who got some surprising love.

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo

(in Swedish accent) “ZSat blows”

Shut out almost entirely in the major categories, save for Rooney Mara’s Best Actress nomination, the David Fincher adaptation was left with a respectable five nominations, mostly for technical honours. Still, Scott Rudin won’t be able to look Harvey Weinstein in the eye for at least two months of red carpets.

Albert Brooks in Drive

“Say what?”

Coming off the heels of a loss at the Golden Globes for Best Supporting Actor in a Drama, Brooks got the complete shaft from an Oscar nom. Pretty shocking, considering critics have been calling his gritty performance in Drive the best of his career. It’s okay, Brooks. Your life was pretty much completed when you found Nemo. No big.

I’m not the only one who liked The Tree Of Life 

“Really? Even I didn’t know what the eff was going on.”

Apparently, me and the geriatric Academy voters are on the same page, and not just in our love for Dr. Scholl’s inserts. Terrence Malick’s love it or hate it 3 hour creation epic, complete with dinosaurs, received two shocking nominations: Best Picture and Best Director. I can neither confirm nor deny that I did an MC Hammer happy dance as I streamed the nominations live from my school’s cafeteria. Score one Tree of Life, lose one Katherine.

No Love for Leo

“But I put on this bald cap.”

No amount of prosthetic jowls or gay sexual tension could earn Leo an Oscar nom for his work in J. Edgar. Worse, the by-the-book biopic was shut out of nominations completely. I’m sure Leo is currently on a yacht, weeping into the bosom of whichever Victoria’s Secret model he’s currently accessorized himself with. I feel quite sorry for him.

No to Tintin, Yes to Real Steel? Le quoi?

“But I put on those CGI things all over my body”

Spielberg’s CGI’d The Adventures of Tintin got shut out, while freaking Real Steal got a nod for Best Visual Effects. This whole thing just proves that the Academy have a sense of humour after all. Just ask Eddie Murphy.

Eff yeah Bridesmaids!

“Those unflattering trousers were not worn in vain!”

Omg women are funny? Who knew? Apparently the Academy does, as they put the raunchy chick comedy up for two big awards: Best Supporting Actress for Melissa McCarthy and Best Original Screenplay for Kristen Wiig and Annie Mumolo. Here’s to countless more cinematic masterpieces in which women shit in the middle of the street.

A Triple Gosling Snub

That poor, sexy, sexy man’s three-peat performances in The Ides of March, Crazy Stupid Love, and Drive were all passed up for nominations. Pretty harsh, considering Gosling was double-nominated at this year’s Golden Globes. It’s cool, though. He’s still a winner thanks to a certain viral video and his aggressive pectorals.

Were there any snubs I missed? Was there a better “Hey Girl” Gosling shot I could have used? Start the convo in the comments section.

Oscar Nominations Announced!!!

Judgement day is finally here! That’s right, the 84th Academy Awards nominations were announced this morning by Jennifer Lawrence, a Best Actress nominee last year for her glamorous work in Winter’s Bone. There were a few shake-ups and some snubs, but mostly, as predicted, it was all about The Artist, the silent French film that earned 10 nominations including Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actor, and Best Supporting Actress. The silent gem was bested in numbers only by Hugo who garnered 11 big nominations: the most in the heap. Shockingly, my beloved The Tree Of Life  garnered two nominations, Best Picture and Best Director. Score one for pretension!

Best Actress
Meryl Streep, The Iron Lady
Viola Davis, The Help
Michelle Williams, My Week With Marilyn
Glenn Close, Albert Nobbs
Rooney Mara, The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo

Best Actor
Jean Dujardin, The Artist
Gary Oldman, Tinker Tailer Soldier Spy
George Clooney, The Descendants
Brad Pitt, Moneyball
Demian Bichir, A Better Life

Best Supporting Actress:
Octavia Spencer, The Help
Bérénice Bejo, The Artist
Jessica Chastain, The Help
Melissa McCarthy, Bridesmaids
Janet McTeer, Albert Nobbs

Best Supporting Actor:
Christopher Plummer, Beginners
Kenneth Branagh, My Week With Marilyn
Nick Nolte, Warrior
Jonah Hill, Moneyball
Max Von Sydow, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

Best Director
Alexander Payne, The Descendants
Michel Hazanavicius, The Artist
Martin Scorsese, Hugo
Woody Allen, Midnight in Paris
Terrence Malick, The Tree of Life

Best Picture
The Artist
War Horse
Moneyball
The Descendants
Tree of Life
Midnight in Paris
The Help
Hugo
Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

Best Original Screenplay:
Michel Hazanavicius, The Artist
Kristen Wiig and Annie Mumolo, Bridesmaids
J.C. Chandor, Margin Call
Woody Allen, Midnight in Paris
Asgar Farhadi, A Separation

Best Adapted Sceenplay
Alexander Payne, Nat Faxon and Jim Rash, The Descendants
John Logan, Hugo
Aaron Sorkin and Steven Zaillian, Moneyball
George Clooney, Ides of March
Peter Straughan and Bridget O’Connor, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

Best Foreign Language Film
Bullhead
Footnote
Monsieur Lazhar
A Separation
In Darkness

Best Animated Feature
Rango
A Cat in Paris
Puss in Boots
Kung Fu Panda 2
Chico and Rita

For a full list of the nominations, click here.

The Sound And The Fury

Not since Stanley Donen and Gene Kelly’s Singing In The Rain has a film so daffily observed the introduction of sound, or “talkies”, into cinema. Michel Hazanavicius’s The Artist revisits this territory with new-found melancholy and touching heart.

The Artist tells the story of George Valentin (Jean Dujardin), silent film superstar who appears to have a limitless range, channeling roles from pirate to Colonial adventurer, all with his trusty Jack Russell Terrier by his side and in every frame.

Through a chance encounter, George meets Peppy Miller (Bérénice Bejo), a fan who channels the press from her meeting with the screen star into extra work in George’s newest film. The pair have instant chemistry. But as George is an unhappily married man, the two part ways without so much as an extramarital transgression.

But a reversal in fortunes sees George fired from his film studio in order to make way for fresh, talking meat. Sound is being introduced into moving pictures and George’s big studio boss Al Zimmer (John Goodman) wants new talent for the thunderous future of film. Peppy is able to capitalize on her charming, loud exuberance and becomes an overnight talking sensation.

George, clinging to his pride and the past, bankrolls his own silent film that quickly flops. Soon he is divorced, in the midst of financial ruin during the Great Depression, and out of work. His only companions in his dingy flat devoid of Valentin’s hallmark decadence are his loyal Jack Russell Terrier and his driver Clifton (James Cromwell). The latter will not leave Valentin’s side, even as the eclipsed star fails to pay him.

Although Peppy is part of the clamorous new age of cinema, she cannot get George out of her mind. Desperate to pull the fallen star out of his alcohol and nostalgia fuelled depression, Peppy searches for a way to help George find his voice.

Charming and jovial, The Artist is a deeply moving and entirely original picture. Glitzy, dazzling, and full of life, the French film is in black and white, and almost entirely in silence, (save for a few well-placed noises of innovation). The genius of Hazanavicius’s meta world lies in its contravention; the silence is a nostalgic progression and noise is old news. The result of introducing the smallest of sound, be it an exhale of breath or the clambering of a water glass on a table, feels as if cinema is reborn; it is an experience that is entirely reminiscent of the transition from black to technicolor  as Dorothy steps into Munchkinland in Victor Fleming’s The Wizard of Oz.

Cast perfectly as the two young stars are Dujardin and Bejo. The pair seem like 20s actors plucked out of dusty film spools and transported into a theatre from the wrong decade. Dujardin’s Valentin is a lothario infusion of Clark Gable and the aforementioned Gene Kelly. His natural charisma is only matched by his heart-wrenching depth in solace. Bejo is stunningly beautiful and altogether wacky. Each performance, though mugging and large to adhere to their silence, also contain subtle, gentle nuances that speak louder than words ever could.

The result of these performances, the glitzy, innovative throwback, and that Jack Russell Terrier is an entirely exhilarating rebirth of cinema. Like a refreshing glass of water, or a warm hug on a freezing day, The Artist is a welcomely cheery high-point to the routinely dreary awards season. Hazanivicius has crafted a picture of somewhat shallow depth that still manages to evoke a genuine swell of investment from an audience of new believers. With timeless themes come revisited invention. The result is a must-see film.

As far as its Oscar future goes, The Artist has quickly and surely become the one to beat at this year’s Academy Awards. Raking in some big wins at this year’s Golden Globes including Best Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy and Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy for Jean Dujardin, this little French film that could shows little signs of slowing down. Although I believe this film is bested by The Tree of Life, Melancholia, and Take Shelter, I am still pleased to see such an inventive and all-and-all charming film take some spotlight.

I predict a Best Picture nomination and subsequent win, along with a nod and win for Best Actor for Jean Dujardin. Michel Hazanivicius has stiff competition from Martin Scorsese for Hugo, a directorial performance that stole the Golden Globe. However, with the big bad Weinstein wolves blowing at the Academy’s twig doors, I can see a possible underdog win for the French director.

What did you think of The Artist? Was it all about Cosmo, the Jack Russell Terrier, or are you more of a Uggie from Beginners fan? Make it rain cats and dogs in the comments section, whydontchya?

You Can’t Go Home Again

Ever wonder what happened to your high school’s “It Girl”? You know, the one that seemed to have everything: looks, personality, appeal? (Well I’m right here, blogging and living the dream. Jk.) Diablo Cody, Academy Award winner for her pun-tastic script Juno, touches base with the high school pretty girl in Young Adult.

Reuniting Juno director Jason Reitman with screenwriter Cody, Young Adult tells the story of Mavis Gary (Charlize Theron), the beautiful yet aging former high school It Girl. Despite her vastly successful high school cool career, Mavis had  great aspirations of getting out of her small town and making something of herself.

To all intents an purposes, she achieved her dream, and perhaps lost it. Mavis moved away after graduation, married, landed an author’s gig ghost writing a popular teen series, and then divorced. To cap off the fall from grace, her book series Waverly Prep has fallen out of favor with the fickle, vampire-crazed teen audience. Living in a personality-less high-rise in Minneapolis, or “the big city” to those in her hometown of Mercury, Mavis experiences massive creative block in writing the final instalment of Waverly Prep. As a result, she spends much of her time avoiding writing by watching endless hours of Kardashians, dating unappealing men for free dinners, and eating fast food. Sounds familiar.

Escape comes when Mavis receives an email from former high school flame Buddy Slade (Patrick Wilson). Buddy has become a new father with his wife Beth (Elizabeth Reaser), and emails pictures of their new offspring. Somehow, Mavis sees this as some sort of perverse sign that she is to reunite with Buddy, by any means necessary. She packs up her tiny, fluffy dog, her array of Hello Kitty graphic tees, and transplants herself into Buddy’s life in Mercury.

The only voice of reason in Mavis’s ridiculous scheme comes unexpectedly from Mercury resident Matt (Patton Oswalt), a former high school dweeb from Mavis’s graduating class. Much like Mavis, Matt has had equal trouble moving on from high school. He lives with his sister, works a thankless managerial job, and seems entirely fixed on a damaging high school incident. He and Mavis reunite in a bar, and Matt becomes perhaps the only character to tell Mavis how truly delusional and warped her plan is. Despite Matt’s objections, Mavis is unable to move on from the happiness she achieved in high school and on Buddy’s arm.

Perhaps the gutsiest aspect to Young Adult is Ms. Cody’s choice of protagonist; it takes a truly masterful writer to craft a successful film, such as this, around a character that the audience so dislikes and ultimately roots to fail. Mavis is through and through one dark, narcissistic little girl, trapped in a 30-something’s body. Obsessed only with herself, while paying little attention to the consequences of attaining her goals, Mavis seems altogether strong and weak, enlightened and defeated.

Ms. Theron does an absolutely stellar job at portraying every dead-pan, charmingly selfish quirk to her devious character. It takes an actress with ungodly amounts of natural beauty and charm to fill out Mavis’s pink sweats without total audience alienation. Her performance, both rude and disarming, is the cornerstone at which this film operates successfully.

Patton Oswalt rivals Ms. Thereon’s pitch-perfect execution, providing a flesh and blood characterization of the bitch slap so necessary to the counter-balance of Mavis’s wretchedness. As a thoroughly damaged character, Oswalt’s Matt operates in the acutely dual head-space of both the disgusted witness to Mavis’s perverse schemes, and the teenaged misfit still taken by her hair, her boobs, and her delicious cruelty.

Positively dripping with early 90′s nostalgia, Young Adult is Ms. Cody’s response to the hopeful, 90′s power-ballads by the Replacements or Teenage Fanclub, all of which left its adolescent audiences hanging on every promise of fulfillment. Ms. Cody presents the filmic idiom of what happens to the listeners, such as Mavis, who cannot move on from the wish-fulfillment wonder that their high school careers offered in spades. The result is a vastly sad, darkly funny, and entirely painful portrait of an It Girl whose promise never cashed-in.

As far as its Oscar future goes, I predict the sole nomination to be Ms. Theron’s for Best Actress. Well deserving as Ms. Theron is, she is not the only brilliance at work in Young Adult. Patton Oswalt’s performance is deeply moving and very in need of a Best Supporting Actor nod, one that I fear will not come. As for the screenwriter so schooled in 90s references and black comedy, I believe Ms. Diablo’s work is in desperate need of a Best Original Screenplay nomination. Again, I fear that Ms. Diablo will not receive the proper accolade.

What did you think of Young Adult? Do you think Diablo Cody deserves an Oscar nomination, or is this the punning end of the line? Drop me a word in the comment section, won’t you please?